bril-lia-nce (by Lia Lehrer)

inherently funny.

Archive for April, 2005

I see dead people…

Posted by lia1031 on April 27, 2005

Today, we (my Bio class) went to the BodyWorlds exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry. Pretty much, it’s dead bodies that a scientist preserved using a process called plastination.

But these bodies weren’t just dead. In different bodies, different systems were displayed–one body showed the nervous system, another showed the circulatory, etc. One showed a guy holding a cigarette whose lungs were black and he was all shriveled.

The really weird part was that these bodies were positioned in very lifelike poses–a basketball player, an archer, a man riding a horse (the horse was real too), a chess player. And those props (the basketball, the bow, the chessboard, etc) were all there too. So it was a dead body with its skin gone, showing parts of its body–some muscles, some bones, some tubes–holding a basketball. Really weird.

It sort of reminded me of our recent pig dissection in Bio. Yes, we dissected fetal pigs. Jon and I named our pig “Some Pig.” (”Dr. Jon” did most of the operating procedures, and “Nurse Lia” served as an important helper.) That was quite an experience. The only really annoying part of the dissection is when people compared parts of the body to food. “Wow, the liver really looks like a potato pancake,” or “Those small intestines look like the pasta I had for dinner last night!” Comments like those are unnecessary.

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Calculus for three-year-olds

Posted by lia1031 on April 25, 2005

This is what my CliffsNotes AP Calculus review guide says:

“If a graph is ’smiling’ at you, it is concave up; if it is ‘frowning’ at you, it is concave down.”

What an incredible academic subject. Calculus is great–the graphs have feelings!!

It comforts me that even when calculus is sad and I’m frowning at my concave-up graph, it still smiles at me.

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Pictures…for real

Posted by lia1031 on April 22, 2005

Woo hoo! I figured out my problem. Here is the entry as it should have originally been.

Here is a random sampling of pictures available at my new favorite place: http://community.webshots.com/user/lia1031.

Hadag Nachash = Israeli hip hop!:

Counting pennies. Lots of pennies (+ other coins). $1128 worth.:

The Californian, Lia, and the snow brush:

Enjoy!

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Pictures!

Posted by lia1031 on April 20, 2005

So I was going to have this really cool entry, where I was going to introduce the grand opening of my online pictures through Webshots. I was going to start off by saying, “Here is a random sampling of pictures available at my new favorite place: http://community.webshots.com/user/lia1031.”

Then, I was going to show a few cool pictures from the website.

I was going to show this one picture (found at http://community.webshots.com/photo/323704032/323718312wrQYZq) of the Hadag Nachash (the most popular Israeli hip hop group) concert at Kinnus a few weeks ago. Then, I was going to write a complaint: “Whoever you are who wore high-heeled shoes at the concert, my toe STILL hurts from when you jumped up high and landed on it. Ouch. I’ve been wearing flip flops for the past week and a half.”

Then, I was going to show a picture of us counting a million coins at the Penny Wars at Kinnus. We raised over $1128 in coins! (That picture, if you wanted to see it, can be found at http://community.webshots.com/photo/323704032/323720442PWswdy.)

I was going to end with a picture from International Convention that went along with a previous LJ entry. I was going to say, “Remember the story about the Californian and the snowbrush at International Convention? (http://www.livejournal.com/~lia1031/12604.html)” Well, that picture can be found here: http://community.webshots.com/photo/315606423/315607867bTtKIv.

Then, I was going to write: For more pictures, be sure to visit http://community.webshots.com/user/lia1031. I’m sure I’ll update it soon.

But, alas, this entry-that-should-have-been could not be. The pictures didn’t work for some reason. I tried three times to get them to show up in the entry, but it was to no avail. I also didn’t feel like trying more than three times. So, that’s it. I’m sorry.

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Zzzzz….

Posted by lia1031 on April 17, 2005

I have a huge problem that needs to be addressed.

It is understandable that a person like me who gets as little sleep as I do would tend to fall asleep during boring lectures and movies. Like Bio lectures, for examples, or movies in Israel about the importance of copper. The topics are uninteresting, the light is dim…it just makes a perfect environment for sleep.

I have found lately (well, not even lately…it’s actually been happening for quite a while, though it specifically came to my attention last night) that I tend to fall asleep in movies that I am enjoying.

Last night I was watching Hitchcock’s Rear Window, a typical Hitchcock thriller. (I LOVED Vertigo!) I liked the movie, but I was just so tired…so naturally, right before the climax of the movie and where the mystery was explained, I fell asleep.

It’s just the sad reality of my life.

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DECIDED!!

Posted by lia1031 on April 12, 2005

I finally decided. I never thought I’d say this, but…Northwestern University Class of 2009!!!

First of all, I apologize to you loyal LJ readers: I did promise you a massive vote here. If you still would like to vote, feel free, but only vote if it’s pro-Northwestern (haha, just kidding).

After collecting many people’s opinions, it seemed as though my friends were mostly split between Emory and Northwestern (with the exception of Avi, Christie, and Reuben, who pushed for U of I). The reasoning people gave for Emory, though, seemed sort of silly: pretty much, I should go there because it’s not in Illinois.

I made a list of pros and cons, and the pros for Emory weren’t that strong. They’re offering me a little more money than Northwestern, but with travel factored in, the cost is about equal.

So. I just wanted to be decided. It feels good now to know.

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Issue 6!

Posted by lia1031 on April 11, 2005

After weeks of anticipation, the online version of West Word Issue 6 is available.

Here it is.

This issue, my column was one of the best things I’ve written. Everyone in school was talking about it. (I make fun of the math/science teachers and the English teachers.) My bio teacher cut out the article, made me sign it, and hung it on her door. People are still telling me that they liked it!

Read it here (scroll down a little).

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An ending…

Posted by lia1031 on April 11, 2005

Saddest day ever.

This past weekend was Kinnus, CHUSY’s spring convention where we hold installations for next year’s board. Today, the six of us board members were uninstalled from our duties. And apparently, my tear ducts are working properly.

CHUSY–and all of USY–has been my home for the last seven years. Programs, conventions, meetings, lounge nights, get-togethers, meetings, summer trips, meetings–I have lived and breathed United Synagogue Youth since I can remember. This year, serving on the regional board was especially rewarding.

It’s sort of hard for me to put my feelings into words about today, about the past year, about the past four years, or about the past seven (the first three were in Kadima).

This weekend, I felt like I was ready to leave. I felt a lot older than the rest of the people there, I felt so familiar with everything, I felt like I owned the place. I guess I’m beginning to feel like that at school too. It’s sad to leave, but I think I’m really ready for the next step (wherever that may take me).

Maybe I’ll post more coherent thoughts in a few days when I’ve been able to think more.

Thank you to all of my USY friends for being part of the best thing that’s happened to me. I don’t know where I’d be without you and the organization. You’ve taught me so much.

Senior women…all I can say is…you gotta pump it up.

I’ll miss this little youth group.

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The tire is flat…so push in! (any music people out there?)

Posted by lia1031 on April 5, 2005

Of course, this happens during the 24 hours that my parents are out of town.

I slept over at Molly’s house last night so I wouldn’t be alone for a whole night (yeah, my parents worry like that). I pulled up to Molly’s at around 9:30 p.m., and got out of the car.

About to open the back door to get my stuff, I heard a hissing noise coming from the back left tire.

“Hissssssssssssssss,” said the tire.

“Hmm,” I thought. “Tires don’t usually make hissing noises.”

Just as I suspected, the tire was flat (well, flattening). I rang Molly’s doorbell, greeted her and her mom. “Um, I think I have a flat tire,” I said. “What makes you say that?” Molly’s mom asked. “Well,” I replied, “It’s hissing, and it looks pretty flat.”

As Molly and her mom were completely clueless on what to do, I called my dad, who worked for AAA for 20 years. We made a three-way call to AAA, when they took down all my information and told me they’d be there within and hour and 20 minutes to help.

Immediately after I hung up, I got a call from another AAA employee, making sure everything was okay. It was.

Molly and I went downstairs to watch the nailbiting Illini game, and a few minutes later, I got a call from AAA again. They were outside waiting for me.

I had a spare tire in the trunk (along with jumper cables…always good to have…and as my dad always says, “Even if you don’t know how to use them, someone else will.”), so the AAA guy easily took out the old tire and put in the new one. The old tire had a small slash in it, as if I drove over some small piece of metal. The new tire is very small: “This tire is a 30-40 mile maximum tire, so don’t be crusin’ around,” the AAA man said. “Don’t worry,” Molly said, “She isn’t one for cruising.”

[Someone asked me today if the car was slanted because one of its tires was much smaller. It wasn't.]

Moral of the story: learn how to change tires. REAL moral of the story: get a AAA membership card, and someone will do it for you!

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At a concert…

Posted by lia1031 on April 4, 2005

Last night, at the David Broza concert, he sang one of those slow songs. You know, the soulful kind, where you want to just grab your lighter and wave it in the air. Instead of doing that, though, about a third of the auditorium grabbed their cell phones, opened them so they lit up, and waved them around.

I worry for the future of our planet.

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