Vote for your favorite comforter!

I wasn’t satisfied by the “things” of Linens ‘n’ Things, and Bed Bath
and Beyond didn’t seem to go “beyond” enough for me. I was bored at
Room and Board. I must have missed the Target.

The clock was ticking to find a comforter for my dorm room.

So we ventured out to Schaumberg today to visit Ikea, the gargantuan furniture store.

I found two comforters that I liked, so we brought them both home, and eventually I’ll pick one of them.

And that’s where you all come in. Please vote for your favorite comforter. If you can provide reasons, you’re even cooler.

Option 1:

(In case you can’t imagine the full effect without a person sleeping in it, I have provided that for you.)
It has squares of goldish/orange, burgundy, light pink, red, and dark pink, and has a pillow to match.

Option 2:

This is a dark burgundy, sort of shiny/satin-y.

I’m torn between these two…please help! And if you are my roommate,
go to Northwestern, plan on visiting me often, or plan on looking at
pictures of my room often, please vote!

Where have all the college kids gone?

Old Orchard was almost completely devoid of 19-22-year-olds tonight at 10 p.m.

At synagogue? None except for the ones who live (or practically live) in my house.

I haven’t seen many walking through the streets of Lincolnwood.

Where is everyone?

Oh, yeah. They’re all at college already. They go to normal schools that begin earlier than September 20.

I don’t really mind that Northwestern starts ungodly later than the other schools–this way, I get three extra weeks to buy my dorm supplies, pack, relax, read, watch movies, and sleep–but it’s just sort of weird…and lonely.

I’m excited for college, but I want to go now, not in three weeks.

It’s hard to sign online and see away messages like these (these are real, but names have been changed to protect my friends):

“im in college”
“ah! i’m moving soon…its kinda sad…”
“Everyone should come to Hillel on Sunday morning for brunch from 11-1!!!!! Be there for AMAZING food.”
“Across the hall in Pauline’s room, cell it.”
“Crazy times with crazy friends.”
“SLEEPOVER in my dorm!!!”
“Pre-gaming, frat party, then Drew’s…I LOVE COLLEGE!”

Yes. What’s not to love? Everyone sounds like they’re having so much fun. And I know I will soon too. I know I’ll keep in touch with all my friends, but these are the crucial meet-all-your-new-friends weeks…will they have time to talk to a Northwestern kid who is up until 2:30 a.m. updating her blog and cleaning her bedroom?

I hope so.

“Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler…”

We’ve all seen Office
Space, we see the numerous office references on Seinfeld, and I can’t think of any other pop culture office spoofs,
but I know they exist. They provide us with many stereotypes of office life.

Now that I’ve completed my two-month career as the Human
Resources Clerical Assistant for the Council for Jewish Elderly, I’ve been able
to reflect on these stereotypes and determine their validity.

Here is some of what I’ve learned.

The stapler: Milton
from Office Space taught us the
importance of a good stapler. How right he is. Occasionally, when the copy
machine was taking a break, I’d take over the stapling job. Without a good
stapler, my job was impossible. One of the most exciting days of work, though,
was when my task was to staple 30-page packets. Since a normal stapler (not
even Milton’s
Swigline) wouldn’t be able to do it, I needed to bring in reinforcement—a super-dooper
stapler to the rescue! This stapler was almost as big as my desk, and I had to
stand up and press down on it with all my weight. And when it didn’t get
jammed, it worked beautifully.

The water cooler: I
had always longed for the day when I could have a “water-cooler” discussion
with co-workers, as Jerry Seinfeld’s boss put it in the season finale. Mr. Kimbrough
said that he was looking for a “‘water-cooler show’: something that would have people
talking at the water coolers.” I must say that I experienced very little
discussion at the water cooler near my desk. I would get water every morning,
and there would usually be nobody around. When there were people around, we
didn’t discuss the latest TV shows or politics or who Jennifer Lopez is
marrying this week. I don’t think we even talked.

Cake: There is a commercial where an AOL (I think) customer
wants to thank the company for a new feature, so she brings a cake to give to
someone. Everyone in the office wants some cake. (“I smell cake,” one employee
says.) On Seinfeld, too, Elaine is
fed up with the amount of cake supplied at the office. “What? What is nice?”
Elaine says. “Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg
and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have to be fat, too? Not you
Becky, I know you have a slow metabolism. I don’t want one more piece of cake
in my office!” And, everyone gets a slice of cake in Office Space, except for poor Milton
(“The ratio of people to cake is too big,” he said). I was reminded of these three
references one time this summer when a co-worker said to me, “Hey Lia, if you’re
interested, there’s carrot cake in Accounting! I’m going to go get a piece.”

Answering the phones: “Welcome to Initech…just a moment.” Can’t
get that lady from Office Space out
of your head, can you? I often felt that way when I was up in Administration,
covering for the secretaries taking lunch breaks. “Joe Shmoe’s office, how may
I help you?” I hope I wasn’t as annoying as the Initech lady.

The printer: I love that scene in Office Space where Peter, Michael, and Samir take their printer to
an open field and break it to pieces. I think we all have moments when we would
like to do that. The Human Resources printer and I were on good terms for most
of the summer, except for when I had to print envelopes and they jammed every
five minutes…at that point, I would have loved to break it.

So…all in all, while my job was a little on the boring side,
it was good getting office experience.

With no work today, though, I can truly say that I do not have “a case of the Mondays.”

Stupid sun

When I go out into the sun after being indoors for a long time, I sneeze.

Many people make fun of me for it, but it’s a serious problem.

Park Place

At a recent visit to the Old Orchard shopping mall in Skokie, I noticed an interesting sign:

Near the door of the restaurants, one parking spot is reserved for “Expectant and New Mothers.”

Tanya demonstrated how this sign might look next to an “expectant or new mother”:

This is very nice and considerate of Old Orchard to think of mothers
when designating parking space. But how far will the shopping malls go?

I had some of my own ideas for reserved parking.

1. Hungry People Parking: If you’re really hungry, you shouldn’t be
forced to waste precious time finding a place to park. Park closest to
the restaurant, then alert the hostess that you are REALLY hungry, and
you need to be seated and served immediately.

2. Fat People Parking: Just because they don’t have a baby growing
inside of them, doesn’t mean they should be treated with any less
respect.

3. Chronically Late People Parking: Oh no! You were supposed to meet
your boss for a 12:15 lunch on Monday, and it’s already 12:45–on
Tuesday. You should have the right to an open spot waiting for you near
the restaurant to speed up the process.

4. Bad Parkers Parking: When it comes to finding the perfect spot, some
people just aren’t so lucky. You drive around and around the lot,
wasting time, feeling depressed. If you had a spot right near the door
that was reserved for you, wouldn’t it just make your day? It might
give you the ego boost you need to complete your week.

5. Honor Roll Student Parking: It takes a lot of work to be on the
Honor Roll in high school, and the only thing that most students
usually get is a lousy bumper sticker on the back of their mom’s
minivan. Why not allow the really smart kids to get the good parking?
Maybe it would be good incentive for students to work harder. If I had
been guaranteed a good parking spot everywhere I went, I might have
tried harder too.

I’ll submit these to the shopping malls for review. Let me know if you can think of any others.

I meant to post this about three months ago, but oh well, better late than never…

I am only 18 years old, and my life is already complete.

There is no longer a sign on the door of the Math/Science teachers’ office.

You may have forgotten, but I wrote a column (click there to read it) about that at the end of the school year. At first, nothing happened. But then, one day, I came to school, walked down the hallway between homeroom and gym, and my life was instantly changed when I saw an empty door.

Talk about power of the press. I felt it.

This is what I live for.

Speaking of West Word, I usually post the issues here as they become available online. The Senior Issue, however, was never uploaded to the website, so I never wrote about it here. It was quite brilliant, if I may say so myself–a parody of Martha Stewart Living. I have many extra copies of it, so please come over and read one.