Don’t eat your friends!

The other night at the Kosher section of a dining hall, the dinner option was lamb stew.

I don’t like lamb stew, or anything lamb-related.

It was then that I decided that I will not eat anything that is an animal that I have a stuffed animal of that shares a bed with me.

I have a teddy bear at home. I also refuse to eat bear.

The same rule applies for animals that share a bed with my roommate, since these animals are therefore sharing a room with me:

Yeah, I really hate it when the dining hall serves frog. And it’s been years since I’ve had a really good mermaid sandwich.

Reason #4857 why I love Northwestern

In Introduction to Macroeconomics today:

Random student raises his hand.

“Excuse me, could I get a copy of one of the syllabuses?”

Every single person in the room (it’s a 200-person class) rolls his or her eyes and grumbles, “Syllabi.”

It wasn’t like the person next to me just said it. It was probably everyone in the room. The room filled with a roar of the proper English pluralization.

(Though, upon further investigation, I learned from Dictionary.com that “syllabuses” is also acceptable. And, when I went to spell-check this entry, it didn’t recognize “syllabi” as a word. Weird. But I won’t tell if you won’t.)

Streets named for composers…or not

A few days ago, I went to visit a friend in Glenview. She wanted me to call when I was nearby.

So I called her when I was at the corner of Lake and Wagner (yep, right by that farm with all the cows).

“Hey, I’m at the corner of Lake and Vahgner,” I said.

“Where?” she asked.

“Er, Waag-ner, I guess.”

“Ohh, Wagner.”

I think I’ve been spending too much time with musicians.

I’d like a Big Mac with a side of brussel sprouts.

The phrase “Would you like fries with that?” may be placed on the backburner.

It is being replaced with, “Would you like chips or carrots?”

At recent visits to Cosi and Panera, I have discovered a new phenomenon: America is finally starting to become health-conscious.

Cosi and Panera are two sandwich chains, both of which have stores close to the Northwestern campus. At Cosi, when I ordered a sandwich, I had the choice of chips or carrots. Panera offered me four choices with my sandwich: a French baguette, a whole wheat baguette, chips, or an apple.

And apparently, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and other fast food stores are also offering more healthful options.

What is this country coming to?

I’m not saying that I’m the healthiest person ever. And really, I’m not going to pick the healthful option each time (at Cosi I got the carrots and at Panera I got the French baguette: You win some, you lose some). But it’s just nice to know that if I want it, I can have it.

Kudos to you, American food joints. Together, we can fry unhealthful foods.

Which black dress should Lia pick?

Everyone needs a little black dress.

I didn’t have one, and I have a few formals coming up at school. So I went on a search.

At a store yesterday, I found THREE dresses that I liked. It is a very rare occurrence when I find ONE article of clothing that I like.

So, I need your help! Help me pick which little black dress I should keep. I may or may not be allowed to keep two of the three. They are all very reasonably priced (all less than $60).

(And, as you can see, I was having a little bit of what I like to call “Phun with Photoshop.”)

So, vote here on which dress is your favorite!

Playing it safe.

I like to play it safe.

I won’t cross the street unless the next car is minutes away. My passengers must all be buckled in before we leave. I go 35 when the speed limit is 40.

I am comforted by what I know. I do not like it when I am unsure.

At a restaurant, I order my favorite dish–most likely the only thing I’ve ever had there. I don’t like new foods, and I don’t like being pressured into trying them. Most of the foods I like are beige. I will never, ever eat an orange.

I don’t like parties. I have no respect for people who use drugs, and little respect for drinkers. My drink of choice? Water. And when I’m feeling adventurous? Chocolate milk.

I don’t lie, cheat, or steal.

I like long-term relationships. I don’t like anything “random.” I have trained myself not to fall for anyone non-Jewish. I can’t stand drama.

Messes in small spaces bother me.

I like music written 30 years ago. I tell my friends what bands I like, and they say, “Oh, my parents love them.” I can’t do homework with music on. I like silence. And when someone else’s music near me is blasted too loud, I can’t handle it. Especially when I’m driving, or thinking.

I can’t function without naps.

I like solid-colored t-shirts, skirts that cover my knees, and gym shoes. I still fit into some of my clothes from eighth grade, which is fine, because I actually liked the style of clothes back then. I choose comfort over looks, as long as I fit in with what everybody else is wearing. My idea of a “nice top” is a shirt without words on it. I don’t like pink, ruffles, tube tops, or stilettos.

I love to-do lists. I loooove to-do lists.

I don’t like spiders, ants, or other annoying pests that crawl or fly. Please kill them for me, as I don’t like killing them myself. Horses smell funny and hurt my butt. I’m not necessarily in love with dogs or cats, unless they’re really cute and are either really far away or are on a calendar. I don’t particularly like being shed on, having my leg humped, or being licked.

Call me straight-edge. Call me boring. But this is who I am. Make fun of me, pressure me to do things I don’t want to do, laugh at me. Or, live with it. I know I do.

Put it in the vault…

It has recently come to my attention that Disney movies are being locked away in a vault.

Not literally. But apparently, the stores only sell certain Disney movies at a time (per month? Per year? I’m not sure). If I am not mistaken, I believe you can currently buy Bambi and The Lady and the Tramp.

Supposedly, this increases the sales of the movies–once the movies come out of the vault, people rush to buy them.

It’s an interesting concept. I wonder what would happen if other products were put in vaults…

Water. Drink up, everyone! 2006 is your year to quench your thirst. Be sure to buy enough water to last you until 2026!

Hotel rooms. But Mom, we’re on vacation! Why are we living in the car for two weeks?

Toothbrushes. It hasn’t smelled good here for decades! Hmm…is this what England is like?

Shoes. Make sure to buy pairs in all sizes for your growing kids. And don’t wear them out.

Bananas. In 2010, you’ll enjoy banana cream pie, bananas foster, banana smoothies, and banana bread all day long. Until then–nada.

CDs/other musicful objects. You’d have to buy the bands that are popular now, as well as the bands that you think might maybe possibly be popular in five years.

Textbooks. Ask your 13-year-old son what classes he might want to take in college, and buy those books. Talk about picking a major early on in life.

Band-Aids. Ouch! A paper cut! I hope I don’t bleed to death before 2014…

I have not yet researched to see if you can buy other Disney movies that don’t have to do with animals and their feelings on the Internet. I bet you can.

In order for me to buy Aladdin, will I have to buy it from a scary man in some dark alley?

“Hey, you got the stuff?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
“How many ounces?”
“16. $40. But it’s pure.”

Are donuts getting dunked?

As I passed by a Dunkin’ Donuts downtown earlier tonight, a thought occurred to me:

Nobody eats donuts anymore.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how true it was. Remember when it used to be cool to go to Dunkin’ Donuts and get a few Munchkins, or a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles, or a marble donut (my personal favorite)? Now, it seems like it’s all about the cheesecake, the ice cream, and the pie (though I’d say that pie is less popular than the other two).

Years ago, Dunkin’ Donuts used to be strong. The store could stand on its own, it had customers (including many who were not policemen), and I like to think it was successful. But now, Dunkin’ Donuts has become the Voldemort of dessert stores–just like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Dunkin’ Donuts cannot survive without being attached to a more powerful store like Baskin Robbins or Togo’s.

(The other day, however, I drove by a “Dunkin’ Deli” where the Togo’s used to be…is DD starting to think strategically?)

And really, when you go into one of those donut/ice cream/sandwich stores, are you actually going to get a donut? You can get a donut at the grocery store. It seems like a waste of a trip to a dessert store to just get a donut.

Out with a friend? On a date? Looking for a post-movie snack? A donut is just not going to satisfy you. You need something more substantial, right? Something you need to sit down and eat. Something you can eat with silverware. Ah, yes. That is what the problem is.

Donut : ice cream or cheesecake
Hamburger : filet mignon

Both the donut and the hamburger seem to be saying, “Eat me really quickly! You don’t even need a knife and fork. And you don’t have to enjoy me if you don’t want to.” The finer foods care about their eaters more: “Relax. Stay a while. I’m a special treat. Impress your friends by eating me–I’m delicious.”

I can’t just blame Dunkin’ Donuts. Krispy Kreme is not so innocent either. Remember when they first came out, and everyone was all “WOAHHHH. They’re not really crispy or creamy, but it’s okay because those two words are spelled wrong in the title, and the donuts are just so delicious”? Schools sold them as fundraisers. They probably still do. But personally, I feel like I’m about to have a heart attack after every Krispy Kreme donut I eat, so I’ve kind of given up on them.

When I was little, I used to have birthday donuts instead of birthday cake at my parties. I would get a marble donut with one candle in it, and then we’d all eat donuts and be merry. I never realized that it wasn’t normal to eat donuts and not birthday cake at such occasions, but I was happy.

But when was the last time I ate a donut?

Is it just that I’m getting older? Are college students too mature for the donut? Or has the donut actually fallen off the face of the earth?

Like the dough in the center of the round pastry, donuts are just absent. People are glazing over them. Munchkins are coming up short.

It hurts, donut?

Who will win the battle between the writers and the scientists?

This worries me:

Girl in NU’s McCormick School of Engineering: “What’s your major?”
Me: “Uhh…undecided.”
Engineerette: “What are you thinking about?”
Me: “I’m not sure, but possibly journalism.”
Engineerette: “Oh, wow, I hear the journalism school is really intense.”

The girl in engineering is in awe of the journalism majors? The engineering students I know don’t exactly have it easy. Oh, Northwestern.

Vertical vs. horizontal distance to classes: an experiment

Introduction

This quarter, I am lucky to have all of my classes very close to my dorm. In these cold winter months, it is nice to basically roll out of bed and not travel miles and miles to get to class. It takes very little effort to get to my classroom buildings, but most of the buildings have quite a few stairs–possibly too many.

Hypothesis

If I count the number of steps I take to get to my various Winter Quarter 2006 classes and compare them with the number of stairs I must climb to get to the classrooms, I will have traveled a higher vertical distance than horizontal distance.

Methods

I counted the number of steps I took in stride length to each building, starting from the moment I walked out of my dorm until the moment I walked into the classroom building. I did not take into account which door of my dorm I exited from–though they are far apart from each other, those steps are taken in the warmth. For the purposes of this experiment, indoor horizontal steps are not physically exerting and are therefore not a problem.

I then counted each stair/step I took inside the building. Again, once in the building, I did not count horizontal strides.

I let one stride length equal one stair/step for this lab. I am counting only a one-way trip–coming down stairs is not difficult, and the stride length would be the same and the numbers would cancel out.

I multiplied each of the numbers by the number of times each week I go to that class to get a total number of strides and stairs per week. For example, my Hebrew class meets three times a week, but my journalism lab meets only once.

Results

Hebrew II, Kresge Centennial Hall, fourth floor, three times a week:
-125 strides x 3 times/week = 375 strides/week
-60 stairs x 3 times/week = 180 stairs/week

Modern Hebrew Literature in Translation, Harris Hall, third floor, three times a week:
-120 strides x 3 times/week = 360 strides/week
-49 stairs x 3 times/week = 147 stairs/week

Explorations of Misperception (Freshman Seminar), Harris Hall, second floor, two times a week:
-120 strides x 2 times/week = 240 strides/week
-37 stairs x 2 times/week = 74 stairs/week

Editing and Writing the News (Lab), Fisk Hall, third floor, once a week:
-83 strides x 1 time/week = 83 strides/week
-51 stairs x 1 time/week = 51 stairs/week

Editing and Writing the News (Lecture), McCormick Tribune Center, bottom floor, once a week:
-115 strides x 1 time/week = 115 strides/week
-0 stairs/steps x 1 time/week  = 0 strides/week

TOTAL:
-1,173 strides/week
-452 stairs/week

I walk approximately 2.5 times as many horizontal strides as vertical stairs.

Discussion

These data did not support my hypothesis. While I do travel a high vertical distance, it is nowhere near as far as I travel horizontally. It feels like more stairs than there actually are because of the physical shape I am in when I reach the top of the stairs–often huffing, puffing, and gasping for air. Walking horizontally on flat ground like in this Prairie State doesn’t have as big of an effect on my physical well-being.

Conclusion

My dorm is in an ideal location, so close to all of my classes. I should be thankful of this and not complain of having to walk up two, three, or four flights of stairs.

Further Investigation

Do I walk farther to my nearest class or to my dining hall across the street?