I’ll be a principal…or a caterpillar*

When I grow up, can I be a professional bar mitzvah tutor?

No, seriously.

I am in love with my job.

In college, I could major in Haftarah trope with a minor in the Friday night service. Either that, or I could major in “relating to 7th graders” and minor in “dealing with their parents.”

Really, can I have this job forever? Please?

More and more I’m realizing that I can’t imagine doing anything with my life that doesn’t involve teaching. Nothing makes me consistently happy like tutoring–I walk into my lessons tired or sad or bored, and I come out feeling like a better person.

I also like to lead services, and help others learn to lead services. Hmm…a career where you lead services and teach bar mitzvah students? Sounds familiar.

But I could never be a cantor, could I? While I do like the sound of my own voice, I can’t imagine that many others would. My voice isn’t show-off-y enough, and I always lose my voice when I use it too much.

Also, it would be pretty weird to major in journalism at Northwestern (no guarantees, but we’re keeping our fingers crossed) and then become a bar mitzvah tutor, right?

At least I’ve found something I love to do for now.

*10 points to anyone who understands the reference in the title.

I think I’ll name this entry…Dreika

As a kid, I collected stuffed animals. I would go to toy stores and fall in love with each plush toy I saw. I would beg and plead for my parents to buy them for me, and I promised I would care for each one as a parent would.

The stuffed animals resided in a brown wicker basket in the corner of my light pink room. Many of them played with me on my bed, and the really special ones got to spend the night there.

As a daily ritual, I would bring the basket into the middle of the room and empty its contents onto the floor. I would set them into a straight line and count them one by one. Some days I counted eight, 15, 20 little toys that each had some form of significance to me.

Each animal in the basket had a special, unique name. Actually, not–for some reason, I named each of my stuffed animals “Dreika.”

“What is your kitty cat’s name, Lia?”
“I think I’ll name it…Dreika,” I would say.

“And your little pony?”
“Its name is…Dreika.”

The name had no significance to me as far as I can remember, yet I gave almost every one of my animals that name.

As I grew older, the basket became smaller. Many of the childish baby dolls and stuffed teddy bears were donated to make room for the Beanie Babies, and then the American Girl dolls.

There are a few I can never bear to part with, though. Like Dreika. Or Blue Bear, or Dreika, or Dreika. These stuffed animals–the ones that comforted me and played with me–serve to me now as a constant reminder of the simplicity of my childhood.

A letter from an eighth-grade me.

At the end of eighth grade, we were assigned to write letters to ourselves that would be mailed to us at the end of our freshman year of college.

We all wrote fun letters detailing our current interests and our hopes and dreams, and then some of our friends even wrote letters for us to open in the future.

I read my letter a few days ago. I sound a lot like myself. (That’s funny, because I am me!)

Here are excerpts and paraphrases of my letter (the exact phrases are in bold).

“Dear Lia,

How is everything? I’m writing this letter on May 21, 2001. We only have a few days left until Schechter graduation. I can’t believe I’m graduating already!

I hope you’ve been keeping in touch with all your Schechter friends. Be sure to call…” [And then I listed 16 friends. I currently keep in touch with approximately 3-4 of those people on a regular basis.]

“This year I’m involved in so many activities.” [Then I proceeded to list everything I did. Can you say “overachiever”?]

“I love the Beatles, and the Wizard of Oz. I like the TV shows Seinfeld, Friends, The West Wing, Survivor, and The Simpsons.” [Not much has changed there.]

“I’m really involved in Beth Hillel USY and Kadima.” [Blah blah blah, everything I’ve ever done for Jewish youth group ever.]

“I love going shopping, and I love wearing makeup (sometimes). I love gossiping and going online. (My current screen name is Lia1031@aol.com. I bet I changed it by the time I read this.)” [Now, I hate shopping and I almost never wear makeup. I still like gossiping and going online. And I’ve managed to keep that screen name but I’ve thankfully gotten rid of AOL.]

[Then I proceeded to talk about my favorite books (Holes and Stargirl) and my favorite magazines (insert any teen girl magazine here). Then I wrote about my teachers, what I liked and disliked about them, and miscellaneous things they’ve said. I talked about other friends, and then about our school trip to Washington, D.C.]

“Right now, the president is George ‘Dubya’ Bush. He’s kinda weird. I really wanted Gore to win. I think that if the votes in Florida were correctly counted, Gore would have won. It’s ok. I bet there are whole textbooks on the Florida recount.” [Some things don’t change.]

“Here are my predictions for the year 2006:

President of the U.S.: Joe Lieberman [if only!]
My college: Northwestern or Brandeis [Wow! I’m good! I predicted that exactly! Except for the Brandeis part, I guess.]
My major: Journalism [Hmmm...maybe I should take some advice from my eighth-grade self?]
Friends from Schechter who I’ve kept in touch with the most: Tanya and Sarah E. [definitely Tanya...Sarah E, if you’re reading this, keep in touch!]
Political figure most likely to be forgotten: Dick Cheney, Monica Lewinsky [It would probably be easier for Dick Cheney to be forgotten if he stopped shooting people in the face.]
Am I at all right???”

[I wrote about my favorite restaurants and my camp memories. I wrote how I was really excited for high school.]

“So tomorrow is our last day of school at SSMS, and Tuesday there’s a graduation rehearsal at Pick-Staiger. [My first of three graduations held at Northwestern]

I really hope that I’ll keep in touch with all my friends and that I’ll never forget my wonderful years at Schechter! [Did they pay me to write that?]

Love,
Me!
Lia Lehrer =)” [I used to sign my name with a heart for the dot in my “i” and a smiley face. Wow. I was such a girl.]

Here are some excerpts from my friends’ letters to me:

From Megan B.: “Hey, this is your college letter. You’re probably at Princeton, Harvard, Yale or some other Ivy League School!”

From Adina T.: “I hope by the end of high school (don’t take this the wrong way) you have had a boyfriend, and I know you will, don’t worry.”

From Alyssa Z.: “Hopefully by now our braces (yuck) have been off for a while and we can drive away in our shiny new cars.”

From Sarah E.: “If you’re going out with someone right now, call me. If not, call me anyway.

From Tanya: “So are we in Northwestern, rooming? … Sooo, do you have a boyfriend? … I’ll tell you what you are wearing: a sparkly blue tank top, light khaki pants, and white Steve Maddens.”

So, I guess the consensus back then was that I’d go to Northwestern, and that my friends were all rooting for me to get a boyfriend. Haha. I love eighth grade girls.

I asked myself some questions in the letter. How exactly am I supposed to respond to them?

Don’t judge me by the color of my skin.

A few weeks ago, on Dillo Day (Northwestern’s day of parties and concerts, including Ben Folds), I wore a high-cut, cap-sleeved t-shirt. It was a very sunny day, and I tanned around the awkward t-shirt.

Realizing the unusual tan, I tried to “even it out” by studying outside wearing a tank top a few times. For some reason, one side of me must have been facing the sun more, so I got much tanner on one side than the other, and I had clearly defined strap tans.

I’ve also been wearing t-shirts more often than tank tops, so I have a lovely farmer’s tan.

So, basically, I have the funniest-looking tan ever right now.

Wait. No. It’s not the funniest tan I’ve ever had.

At camp four years ago, we had a Maccabiah / Color Wars day. I was on the white team, and I wore a white tank top and white shorts. We got body paint, and painted fun things on ourselves.

One of my friends decided to paint a white Jewish star on my chest. After being in the sun all day and then taking a shower, here was the result.

I was the subject of much mockery for the rest of the summer. But now, enough time has lapsed that I can look back on it and laugh. Hahaha. It’s pretty funny.

Any tan that I have today pales in comparison to that Jewish star tan.

Thoughts on the year.

How do you measure a year?

In quarters, in professors, in late-night chats? In meetings, in roommates, in a capella concerts, in Facebook messages?

I can’t believe I already finished my freshman year of college. I mean, I began to believe it when all my friends from other schools finished in early May, and I was still studying until June 9.

Did the year go by quickly? Did it take a long time?

I don’t think I’m the same person I was when I came to Northwestern last fall. But how have I changed?

This year was really great, but it also had it’s not-so-great moments. I didn’t expect to spend so much time on homework–I figured, hey, it’s college, nobody does work in college! Well, if I felt that way, I shouldn’t have come to NU. There were some times when I was not exactly ecstatic, but it made me happy to know that there are people out there who care a lot about me. Yeah, you know who you are.

To respond to the mocking i’ve received from you non-NUers all year:

1) Yes, I go to school really close to where i live. No, I don’t go home very often. Yes, it’s nice that I know the city and the L and I can show everyone around. But yes, it would be cool to learn a new city and get out of my comfort zone. But hey, that’s what studying abroad is for!

2) We’re on the quarter system. That means we take three sets of classes instead of just two semesters. We didn’t get out of school until June 9. Yeah, it was annoying. But when you’re back at school in mid-August and I still have summer break for another month, guess who will be laughing at whom?

3) Going to school with a sibling is mostly okay, as long as they live on the opposite end of campus and lend you a car occasionally.

I’m still trying to find my place at school. There is definitely a niche for me somewhere, I’m just still looking for it.

I’ve met lots of really great people and I’ve had a lot of fun. Thanks to all my friends at NU for being awesome, and thanks to my non-NU friends for visiting me and keeping in touch.

How do you measure a year?

In love, I guess.

Anatomy of gray

There’s a store called White House Black Market that recently moved into a mall around here. As the name implies, the store sells black and white clothes.

I went there today, and I made a purchase.

The black-and-white store, apparently, has some gray areas: the top I bought was gray.

Just goes to show you that life is never just black and white. There are always shades of gray.