A non-biological clock…and a place where I belong

Tena koutou.

If you ever hear me say this, I’m only sending greetings to you in my new native tongue—Māori.

That’s what they speak in New Zealand, the country whose time zone is in sync with my daily routine.

New Zealand is the world’s only country to have had women hold all top political offices at one time (between March 2005 and April 2006), Wikipedia says. The 4.1 million New Zealanders enjoy mild temperatures. New Zealand is ranked 19th in the world in terms of freedom of the press, compared to the United States at #53.

New Zealand is more than 8,000 miles from Chicago, but over winter break, I’ve been running my life according to their time zone.

While I follow a routine in Chicago that might tick off you Central Time clock watchers, my circadian rhythm is marching to the beat of drummers in Auckland, New Zealand.

When I drag myself out of bed at the crack of 2 p.m. Monday in Chicago, people in Auckland are starting their Tuesdays at 9 a.m.

At 3 p.m., I head off to work, while my friends in Auckland begin water cooler gossip at 10 a.m.

My 9 p.m. slice of cheesecake with my Central Time friends happens just as my e hoas (friends) in New Zealand sip their 4 p.m. afternoon tea.

While I’m watching Jeopardy! episodes on TiVo when my Chicago clock reads 1 a.m. with my dad and brother, Aucklanders are spending quality time with their families at the quality time of 8 p.m.

And, finally, when my “Monday” really ends at 3 a.m. Tuesday, the well-rested folks in New Zealand might turn off the lights at 10 p.m.

My dad asked me if, over winter break, I had completely reversed night and day. The answer is no. I am merely trying to live a lifestyle in sync with my fellow human beings from another culture.

Next time you IM me with “goodnight” when your timestamp says 3 a.m., don’t be surprised if I respond with “aroha nui.”

The Internet People Database

The most uneasy feeling in the world is that feeling of recognizing a person but not knowing how you know him.

This happens all the time in movies. The other night, I watched Whatever It Takes—one of those teeny bopper films we used to love in middle school. One of the female leads always seems to play the snobby popular girl in chick flicks, but which movie? Who was the male lead—didn’t he play the villain-turned-monster in some other movie? And I recognized the baseball coach from somewhere.

Luckily, we have IMDB.com, the Internet Movie Database, to look up information like this.

But what about in real life? I often find myself in situations where I recognize a person, and I know him somehow, but I can’t for the life of me remember how. The result is either a) a burning sensation in my brain, trying to picture his face in every possible context, or b) some sort of awkward conversation.

I propose we invent the IPDB—the Internet People Database.

Sure, there are Web sites like Switchboard.com that serve as online phonebooks, and Classmates.com helps you reunite with your high school friends. And, of course, our beloved Facebook.com tells you more than you could possibly want to know about any of your “friends.”

These sites are great, but they rely on knowing one small piece of information—a person’s name. But how do you find that short girl with the long red hair who you swear is a friend of your cousin? Who is that cute boy you pass on the sidewalk every day? Did the girl with too much eye makeup go to your elementary school?

The Internet People Database would allow you to search for a person based on whether she has red hair, a squeaky voice, or even “man hands.”

Last year, I noticed a guy on campus who looked exactly like my friend. I only knew they weren’t actually the same person because I saw “Jason” in the room, and then I saw the real Jason walk in. The real Jason didn’t believe me that he had a twin on campus. If the IPDB had existed then, I could have searched for “looks like Jason” or at least some of his facial characteristics, and the twin easily would have been found.

For now, I’ll continue to use IMDB to identify movie and TV stars. Jodi Lyn O’Keefe played the popular girl in She’s All That. James Franco was Harry, the villain in the Spider-Man movies. And, yes, the baseball coach actually is Richard Schiff, West Wing’s Toby Ziegler.

I can almost sleep easy tonight.

But if you’re the tall guy with the curly brown hair I saw walking down Sheridan Road, give me a call and tell me your name.

Cool stuff I’ve done that you should do, too: Part I

It’s Winter Break. You’re bored.

You’ve played Apples to Apples more times than you can count, you’re sick of going to Kafein, and sitting home and watching Animal House is only exciting for so long.

Luckily for you, I’m beginning my first installment of a new feature of this blog: “Cool stuff I’ve done that you should do, too.” In this feature, I’ll tell you about a few things to do in the area or around the country if you’re looking for something to do. And since I’ve personally done all of these things, I can attest to their coolness*.

*Coolness is relative. Some people may find some of these events actually quite nerdy. But to me, sometimes nerdy = cool.

So here it is.

1) Skate at the Skatium.
As you may recall, I would love to go ice skating at Millennium Park. Unfortunately, this has not yet worked out for me, and probably never will. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on ice skating altogether: I go skating at the Skatium in Skokie. Bring your friends and skate your cares away for a reasonable price (about $4.50 to skate and $3 to rent skates). When you’re cold or dizzy from spinning in circles, get off the ice for a hot pretzel at the concession stand or a cup of hot chocolate from the machine. Try your luck at Millennium Park, but if the outdoor ice rink gods do not shine favorably on you either, the Skatium is a nice alternative.
The Skokie Skatium is located at 9300 Weber Park Place, Skokie (near Skokie Blvd. and Church Street). Call them at 847-674-1500 for public skate times.

2) Write your own song.
Last year, for music theory class, I had to compose a song. I worked really hard on creating a melody and a countermelody that sounded good together. Add chords, enter it into a computer program, and let it play. Or, play it or sing it yourself. Add lyrics if you so choose! So if you’re at all musically inclined, try composing a piece of music. It’s very rewarding.
Required supplies: creativity. Recommended supplies: a piano, music paper, a music-creating software program, and some knowledge of music theory.

3) Get fondue at The Melting Pot.
This place is my absolute favorite. Choose from steaming chocolate mixes like “Cookies ‘n Cream Marshmallow Dream,” the “Yin & Yang” (dark and white chocolate living side by side in harmony), or the “Flaming Turtle” (chocolate, caramel, and pecans, lit on fire in front of your eyes). You’re then given an array of “dippers” like bananas, strawberries, brownies, and cheesecake. I just go for dessert, but they also offer meat and cheese fondues if you’re into that. Try to sit in the room with the live performer to add some music to your chocolaty evening. I’m not sure if I believe in heaven or not, but I would imagine that this place comes close.
The Melting Pot has a few Chicago-area locations (including Buffalo Grove and Schaumburg), but I’d recommend visiting their downtown location at 609 N. Dearborn in Chicago, near the Grand stop on the Red Line.

4) Exercise at Curves.
Sorry, boys, this one’s just for the ladies. Girls, are you interested in something to do with your mom that doesn’t result in having to toss those new skinny jeans? Join Curves together. Curves is an international workout facility for women of all ages (but let’s just say that when I went to the one in Edgebrook this past summer with my mom, I brought the average age in the room down by a lot). It’s a unique workout experience: if you’ve got 35 minutes free, you have time to exercise here. Music plays as you make two rotations around a circle of 15 stations and running boards for 30 seconds at each station. The stations use hydraulic resistance so you’re working your full strength potential without having to change weight stacks. At the running boards, you’re free to run, kickbox, dance, or walk at your own pace. The friendly “change stations now” voice comes up every 30 seconds to tell you to move on. Go with your mom or another female friend so you have someone to talk to. It’s a great workout and a very small time commitment–and a fun mother/daughter bonding experience.
Curves has 10,000 locations worldwide. Visit their Web site to find one near you. Membership prices vary by location.

5) Eat and be entertained at Uncommon Ground.
Like food, music, and art? Then you’ll love Uncommon Ground. Located in Wrigleyville, this restaurant showcases local, up-and-coming talents in art and music. For a minimum of $15 that can be spent on the delicious food, you’ll hear an assortment of musicians performing a wide range of musical genres. In one night, you might hear a bluegrass trio, a rock guitarist,  and an opera soloist. As you’re listening to the sounds of the night, look around the room to enjoy the artwork on the walls–every few weeks is a new display of a local artist’s work. And $15 is just enough money to eat well for the night: When I went there I had the hummus and pita platter (probably the best pita I’ve ever had, and I spent five weeks in Israel), the Triple Banana Nut Sundae (banana bread, banana ice cream, bananas, and toppings…it was insane), and hot chocolate (they claim it’s the best in Chicago; it was good, but I’d need to do more research…do I smell an investigative blog post coming up?). Come every week and have a new experience every time. Bottom line: good pita + good music + good art = uncommon.
Uncommon Ground is located at 3800 N. Clark St. in Chicago, near Wrigley Field. See their Web site for a schedule of performances.

So there you have it. Five things to do to keep you busy over break. Stay tuned for more updates like these in the future.

Have you done any of these things? Leave a comment and let us know what you thought.

You have no excuse to be bored.

Alert! Alert! You don’t know how to spell!

The new version of the Mozilla Firefox web browser wants to make the world a better place.

No, it’s not providing us with those search engines that save the children or stop hunger. (If you want to do that, use http://www.goodsearch.com.) Firefox is trying to make the world a better place where people spell words correctly.

In text fields on many web pages (including my beloved Livejournal and Facebook), Firefox will underline misspelled words for you like in Microsoft Word.

It’s brilliant.

Of course, I’m annoyed when names, slang words, and contractions without apostrophes are underlined. But I tolerate it, knowing that I will no longer be embarrassed misspelling words like “anonymous” and “recommend.”

Why limit correcting spelling and grammar to Internet browsers? What would life be like if we were corrected everywhere we went?

“He and me went to the store.” RED ALERT! RED ALERT! BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! It’s “he and I went to the store”!

It could be a microphone we all have (connected to Bluetooth, maybe?) that is transmitted to the Central Grammatical Intelligence Agency. People monitor what we say, and then if it is a grammatical nightmare, we will be corrected or cited by the NSA—I mean, the CGIA.

Maybe it could even go beyond grammar. We could have secret-spilling, lie, and tact detectors.

“Did you hear about what Betty did?” BEEP.

“I didn’t steal your money.” BEEP BEEP.

“Did you lose weight? I mean, you used to be a balloon!” BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

But for now, I’d like to thank Firefox for doing its part in making our society one free of spelling errors.

Eye amm sew gladd wee ken alle spelle noww.