Celebrities have some nerve.
When your face is appearing all over movies, television, newspapers and YouTube, even bringing a child into this world is questionable. The child will live his entire life under the shadow of his famous parents, and will probably go insane because of it.
Then why in the world, oh darling celebrities, would you name your baby “Zuma”?
Yes, Zuma. It’s the name Gwen Stefani named her son, who was born Thursday.
Stefani is not alone. She’s one of dozens of celebrities who thinks she is above the laws and social norms that govern our society by naming her baby something ridiculous.
Gwyneth Paltrow: daughter, Apple; and son, Moses (she must have read the Good Book instead of the Baby Book)
Nicholas Cage: son, Kal-el (will naming him after Superman’s birth names give him special powers?)
Cher: daughter, Chastity (a bit too hopeful?)
Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes: daughter, Suri (when she’s 13, they’ll be saying, “I’m suri we named you that”)
Courtney Cox Arquette/David Arquette: daughter, Coco Riley (”Coco” is apparently short for Courtney Cox. Good thing they didn’t have a son, otherwise he’d be named “Daar”)
Frank Zappa: daughter, Moon Unit; son, Dweezil; son, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan; daughter, Diva Muffin (he obviously wanted his children’s names to be high-scoring Scrabble words)
Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie: Don’t even get me started.
If you were as famous as these celebrities, and could name your baby anything, what would you name him/her? For the sake of this discussion, let’s say the child will not have to deal with the social repercussions of the name.
So, go ahead. What will it be? Banana? Nalgene? Control Alternate Delete? Leave a comment with your celebrity baby name.
