I like to play it safe.
I won’t cross the street unless the next car is minutes away. My passengers must all be buckled in before we leave. I go 35 when the speed limit is 40.
I am comforted by what I know. I do not like it when I am unsure.
At a restaurant, I order my favorite dish–most likely the only thing I’ve ever had there. I don’t like new foods, and I don’t like being pressured into trying them. Most of the foods I like are beige. I will never, ever eat an orange.
I don’t like parties. I have no respect for people who use drugs, and little respect for drinkers. My drink of choice? Water. And when I’m feeling adventurous? Chocolate milk.
I don’t lie, cheat, or steal.
I like long-term relationships. I don’t like anything “random.” I have trained myself not to fall for anyone non-Jewish. I can’t stand drama.
Messes in small spaces bother me.
I like music written 30 years ago. I tell my friends what bands I like, and they say, “Oh, my parents love them.” I can’t do homework with music on. I like silence. And when someone else’s music near me is blasted too loud, I can’t handle it. Especially when I’m driving, or thinking.
I can’t function without naps.
I like solid-colored t-shirts, skirts that cover my knees, and gym shoes. I still fit into some of my clothes from eighth grade, which is fine, because I actually liked the style of clothes back then. I choose comfort over looks, as long as I fit in with what everybody else is wearing. My idea of a “nice top” is a shirt without words on it. I don’t like pink, ruffles, tube tops, or stilettos.
I love to-do lists. I loooove to-do lists.
I don’t like spiders, ants, or other annoying pests that crawl or fly. Please kill them for me, as I don’t like killing them myself. Horses smell funny and hurt my butt. I’m not necessarily in love with dogs or cats, unless they’re really cute and are either really far away or are on a calendar. I don’t particularly like being shed on, having my leg humped, or being licked.
Call me straight-edge. Call me boring. But this is who I am. Make fun of me, pressure me to do things I don’t want to do, laugh at me. Or, live with it. I know I do.