Dear Econ midterm,
I’m so sorry for probably failing you yesterday. I thought that you were going to be easier, but you were not. I deeply apologize for any pain I may have caused you. If you don’t want to be friends anymore, I will understand.
As a token of my most sincere apologies, I will present you with this, the article that I wrote for The Daily Northwestern instead of studying for you (it can also be found on page 3 of the print edition). So if you’re mad at me for not paying attention to you, Econ midterm, just take comfort in knowing that at least someone else was getting my attention and I wasn’t just wasting my time.
Please tell the TAs to be nice when grading you. Maybe their grading will be more relaxing if they have a copy of the newspaper in front of them.
Best of luck in all your future endeavors.