We clashed with cocaine in the War on Drugs. We wrestled with wrongdoers in the War on Crime. We hunted down homelessness in the War on Poverty. And now, we’re battling bin Laden in the War on Terror.
Seriously, America, what’s with all the fighting?
I wouldn’t call myself a hippie. I have no “Make love, not war” bumper sticker. I don’t burn lingerie.
But today, I am putting my foot down.
The fighting needs to stop. The wars are causing too many casualties. I am waving the white flag. The wars will come to an end!
The War on Drugs will smoke its last puff. The War on Crime will take its last shot. The War on Poverty will spend its last dime. The War on Terror will make its last sacrifice.
I am henceforth declaring the period beginning now as the War on Wars.
Yes, we need to get rid of drugs, crime, poverty and terror. But we have doctors, sociologists and politicians who can do this. Do we really need to bring in the National Guard to take drugs away from an addict? Are soldiers and commanding officers necessary to give jobs to the homeless?
No. We need to bring a peaceful atmosphere to this country. Yes, it’s important to be “tough on crime,” but why must we be so morbid? This War on Terror: Basically, we don’t like it when people die, so we’re killing to stop the dying? How is that logical?
Want to get rid of poverty? Increase job and housing availability. To reduce crime, make policing more effective. Against terrorism? Improve dialogues between cultures. Make positive role models and good rehabilitation programs your anti-drug.
Together, we can kill the killers. Oops, that’s the War on Terror’s job. Together, we can kill the killers of the killers.
If you believe wars are bad, join my army. The army to end all armies. The soldiers who will destroy all soldiers.
The War on Wars.
If you’re Anti-War, you’re pro-War on Wars. I want YOU to join this army.