You look a bit too young.

I’ve started to become suddenly obsessed with the fashion shows on TLC. What Not to Wear and 10 Years Younger have provided me–a girl who shrugs at shrugs and pushes pedal pushers away–with some valuable tips.

An all-natural moisturizer can keep your face youthful. Red shoes can, in fact, go with a blue outfit. And horizontal stripes are never the solution.

On 10 Years Younger, they take a person who has aged physically faster than chronologically, set him or her up in a box in the street and ask passers-by to estimate the age. “Oh, she looks 48.” “He’s at least 54.” And then we find out they’re actually 26 and 31.

The makeup, clothes and hair artists (and maybe a few doctors) proceed to help make this person look a decade younger. Simple. A great concept for a show, and fun to watch.

But what if you wanted to look 10 years older?

Your family friends ask you how school is. You’re talking about college, but they’re still thinking you’re about to enter high school.

You’re sick of being carded at the bars—you’re 30!

When you ask for the Petite section in the department stores, the employees point you to Juniors.

For you—you need the show 10 Years Older.

Here, the makeup artist would remove your lotion and add dark circles under your eyes. Get rid of those contacts and buy some big, thick glasses. No more cute jeans, says the fashion guru. You’ve got to wear baggy jumpsuits. And your hair? All I can say is that gray is the new blonde.

After appearing on this new show, nobody will ever doubt your age again. And you’ll get the respect you know you deserve.

What are you waiting for? You have wrinkles yet to be formed.

**Special thanks to Tanya for looking 10 years too young and being the inspiration for this post.**

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One thought on “You look a bit too young.

  1. For guys, it’s a smidge easier to look older once one has hit his early twenties. All you have to do is follow these simple steps:

    (1) Grow a full beard.

    True story: I shaved off my beard before my wedding nine years ago. (I had grown it to look a bit older and to look more like a Hillel professional and less like the students with whom I was working.) When people saw the informal photos which preceded the wedding later on, the first comments I would receive were “I didn’t know you had a little brother.” I don’t; I just looked that much younger without the beard.

    Then again – I always felt it was payback for not being able to grow any facial hair whatsoever when I was in high school…

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