South Florida: the seniors’ Mecca. The Promised Land for retirees. The sunniest place to ride off into the sunset.
Pilgrimage to South Florida is the last rite of passage for people in the 55-plus generation. Naturally, the area offers plenty of living options for the snowbirds who fly down for the winter or the immigrants who move here permanently.
Most of these communities have nature-sounding names like Cascade Lakes, Windward Palms or Wuthering Heights. But some of the names leave me wondering if the developers founders meant for the names to be a humorous “last laugh” for their residents.
- High Point of Delray (Delray Beach): Either this age is the high point of the seniors’ lives, or these folks are smoking something.
- Summerville Senior Living (Deerfield Beach): Because in Florida, it’s always summer. Especially when it’s winter.
- Horizon Club (Deerfield Beach): Doesn’t “horizon” usually mean “the end of the way”? You know, the far line that you’ll never quite reach, because there’s always a horizon? Guess what, kids. You’ve reached it.
- Harbour’s Edge (Delray Beach): Is the harbor part of the “life’s a journey on the ocean” metaphor for life? If it is, are the Edge residents leaving for their journey or coming home?
- Easy Living Lifeline Program (Delray Beach): If living is so easy, why do old people complain so much?
- Delray Grande (Delray Beach): I think these folks must have had one too many caramel macchiatos.
- Colonial Inn (Delray Beach): Because the residents were born when there were only 13 states.
- Rustic Retreat (Boynton Beach): “Rustic” usually means “small and in awful shape.” Caveat emptor.
- Atlantis Assisted Living (Lantana): Remember Atlantis, the lost city? I guess they found it.
- Journey’s End (Lake Worth): Okay, I lied. This one’s not a retirement community, but just a general gated community. But wouldn’t it be funny if it was?
You better believe I’ll be looking into these places in winter 2041. Or maybe I’ll just build one and give it my own silly name.