1. Banana Management
I have a banana management problem: I can’t keep up with them. I just don’t know how to buy them. I buy yellow ones, and by the time I want to eat them, they’re brown. I buy some green ones, and I want to eat them right away; then, when I can’t eat them right away, I lose all desire to eat bananas for the rest of the week.
How to solve this problem? I could buy one banana a day, but that would be a lot of shopping trips. I could buy one banana per “Potential Banana-Eating Day,” but inevitably, those days turn into “All I Want is an Apple” days.
I propose that my apartment building should have a “Take a banana, leave a banana” station, similar to the “Take a penny, leave a penny” bin at the grocery stores. If you have an extra banana that you just don’t feel like eating, you’d leave it; and if you’ve got bananas on your mind, there’s a fresh one waiting for you. And then, if any bananas go uneaten, one person will volunteer to make banana bread with the old bananas. It saves the environment, it prevents food from being wasted, and it results in me eating more banana bread. It’s perfect.
2. How to Eat a Banana
Last week, I learned something from a monkey.
Well, not directly from a monkey. I learned it from Rachel (my brother’s girlfriend), but she probably learned it directly from a monkey.
Most humans would agree on the one standard way to open a banana – peel the stem backward. But Rachel showed us a new way to open the banana – by squeezing the bottom. It’s demonstrated here in this popular YouTube clip.
Did it change my life forever? Not sure yet. I haven’t been in a Banana Mood since I learned the new trick, so only time will tell.
3. Notes from My Dad. When I was a kid, my dad used to write notes on my banana peels whenever he packed my lunch. It was always a nice surprise. I guess I found it…appealing?
4. Don’t Refrigerate. Did you know? You’re not supposed to refrigerate bananas. The old jingle for Chiquita Banana used to sing, “Bananas like the climate of the very very tropical equator, so you should never put bananas in the refrigerator.”
5. Banana Trees. One day, I aspire to a life in which my kitchen is home to a banana tree.
6. Frozen Bananas. There are some days when the only thing that will satisfy my hunger is a frozen, chocolate-dipped banana. This makes trips to amusement parks especially exciting.
7. Banana Talking. Once, when some of my brother’s friends came over to our house for dinner, my mom insisted that everyone take a banana home with them. But, of course, after each was given a banana, we kept talking for another 45 minutes. As everyone made their points (emphasized with the bananas in their fists), the bananas began to brown. I guess that’s one way to speed-ripen a banana!
Okay, it’s your turn. Talk to me about your relationships with that yellow fruit. Ready, set, go bananas!