Goodbye, #1,292

As I write this post, I have 1,291 friends on Facebook. But I could have sworn that the last time I checked, the number was 1,292.

This could only mean one thing: Somebody broke up with me – terminated our Facebook friendship – and didn’t tell me.

Was it the boy who played tenor saxophone in my high school band, when we clarinets barely talked to anyone outside our section? Was it the girl who used to be my friend in preschool, before we parted ways forever? Was it the kid who thought it would be cool to friend everyone from college before freshman year began?

Maybe the former “friend” was just doing some Facebook housekeeping and wanted to shave off a few unnecessary friends. Maybe he or she got a new job or began a new school and wanted to remove any reminders of his or her past life. Maybe checking his or her News Feed was simply becoming a full-time job. Or maybe someone just gave up Facebook for Lent.

Or maybe, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Do I post too often? Are my pictures too boring and too far between? Is my life not exciting enough? In a world with limited time to spend soaking up information online, only the most exciting of the most prominent people get to be your “friend.”

I once saw a Facebook friend post something along the lines of, “I just deleted a bunch of my Facebook friends. If you’re reading this, you made the cut.” I did feel special, but hey, I guess we can’t always make the cut.

I’m just sorry I never got the chance to say goodbye – to cherish the memories, to relive the glory days. To have one long hug, to write “Have a great summer” in their yearbook. To share our hopes and dreams of one day renewing our Facebook friendship when the time was right. To even have an exit interview.

It’s sad, but I guess there are other fish in the sea. For anyone who would like to become my 1,292nd friend – I’ll be holding auditions next week.


2 thoughts on “Goodbye, #1,292

  1. I have been reassured by three former Facebook friends that they have *no* idea how I was unfriended. Two of them are people I don’t believe a whit, and were trying not to hurt my feelings.

    The third, though, is someone who has no motivation to lie. He’s a straight guy, and he posts pretty often with silly stuff that would encourage “busy folks who aren’t close” to drop *him* if desired. His political views and mine don’t seem to be far apart, so it’s not that I’ve offended him with anything I’ve said. He said it’s happened to him with others of his friends too, and assured me that there’s no reason he’d unfriend me.

    So, it’s quite possibly a mistake, and if I were you, I’d focus on removing the hametz from your house more than being concerned about whether or not someone removed you as hametz from his/her Friend List.

    And, were you ever Fb friends with that sax player? Sounds like you might be able to make beautiful music together. 🙂

  2. I try to keep my friends around 713. That way I feel like I’m always repping the 713.

    Right now I’m at 714, so I need to find someone to drop. Don’t be saddened if you suddenly are down to 1290…

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