This weekend, I showed off one of my best talents to the people of Chicago: my amazing skills riding a Segway.
You think I’m joking, but I’m actually pretty good at it. I can roll at the machine’s maximum speed of 12.5 miles per hour with ease, and I have no problem getting on or off. Thanks to Groupon, this weekend was my second time riding the vehicle, and I had an absolute blast gliding through the Foster Avenue Beach and Montrose Harbor areas.
It’s always great to add to my list of “Sports I’m Good At That Aren’t Actually Sports.” It made me think: What if people played real sports while on Segways? I would be an Olympian for sure with some of these sports.
- Segway Laser Tag: A favorite of youth group participants. Just make sure you leave your glow-in-the-dark Segway at home so nobody can see you wheeling around.
- Segway Whirlyball: If you can do it in a bumper car, why not on a Segway? We’ll need a longer wiffle ball scoop than in Whirlyball since we’re farther from the ground, but I think it would work nicely.
- Segway Human Foosball: The game is played by standing on grid lines on a field while a ball is kicked around; but you’re not allowed to move from your post and you can only use one leg, kicking backward or forward. Not quite sure how this would work on a Segway, but I think it’s worth exploring.
- Segway Triathlon: First you swim. Then you run. Then you glide through Millennium Park while ooohing and aaahing at the Bean.
- Segway Jousting: Forget Facebook and poke your friends in real life.
- Segway Quidditch: Move over, Harry Potter. Who needs a Nimbus 3000 when you can glide on the real technology of the future?
If anyone would like to help fund my quest to the Segway Olympics, these smooth, wonderful, futuristic machines go for about $6,000.
And if you haven’t ridden a Segway yet, do it. You already missed the Groupon (please do one again next summer, Groupon!), but visit the Bike and Roll Chicago website for more information.