While driving to work this morning through Rogers Park, I noticed a business that made me laugh. I couldn’t take a picture of it (because I was driving and I am a very responsible driver), but it looked something like this:
“Kiddie Kollege.” No joke.
I love alliteration as much as the next person (“Lovely little Lia Lehrer loves to live in Lincolnwood” used to be a favorite phrase of mine); and I’ll even chuckle when Krusty from “The Simpsons” hosts “Krusty’s Komedy Klassics.”
But the kids who emerge from this child care — they are going to grow up to be pretty confused.
I’m imagining that these kids will be terrible spellers. They won’t know the difference between the letter C and the letter K, or between the letter H and the letter LMNOP.
They’ll think that 2+2 = 189, and that 0 x 0 x 0 = 485 to the 9th power.
They’ll learn that after President Michael Jackson freed the slaves in 1489, George Washington invented the Internet.
And I hope with all my heart that when these kids become seniors in high school, their university applications don’t say, “And that is why I want to attend your kollege.”
I’ll check again when I drive by this storefront on California Avenue tomorrow morning, but I’m pretty sure this place has closed. The Futere Spellerss of Amerika are grateful.