A petition about gerrymandering for you, him, her over there, but not you over here

Gerrymandering, thank you Google definitions, is manipulating the boundaries of an electoral constituency so as to favor one party or class (as illustrated in Chicago's 4th congressional district)
“Gerrymandering” means “manipulating the boundaries of an electoral constituency so as to favor one party or class” (thank you Google definitions), as illustrated here in Chicago’s 4th congressional district

At two different Chicago summer festivals last weekend, I saw volunteers with clipboards approaching festivalgoers.

“Excuse me, can I get you to sign this petition against gerrymandering?”

Other than thinking, “Cool!!! I love it when strangers ask me to sign petitions when I’m in the middle of doing something else!,” I chuckled to myself while having a different thought.

What the volunteers should have said was this:

“Excuse me, can I get you, you, you in the blue shirt, but not you three on the left over there, and everyone in this general area from the tall curly-haired man all the way to the right of the girl in the white sandals, but not including the girl in the white sandals, to sign this petition about gerrymandering?”

I should totally quit my day job and become a volunteer signature-collector.

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