On my 18-mile commute to and from work, I drive by a lot of McDonald’s restaurants. I never actually have the urge to stop in one — as someone who keeps some amount of kosher, there isn’t much for me there — but their latest ad makes me feel extremely anxious.
The ad is a full window’s length of a perfect vanilla ice cream cone. And for only 79 cents, such a deal! But the ice cream cone is far from perfect. Here’s the photo they’ve been using:
Why would this make anyone want to buy this cone?! The ice cream is DRIPPING!
I imagine one of the fast food chain’s biggest audiences is commuters — and if I’m driving through the drive-thru and you’re going to hand me a cone that is already melting, well, me and my clean dress are in for a real challenge.
“Treat yourself”? To what, a dry cleaning bill? To a messy face? To using up every napkin in the state?
Is the image supposed to portray freshness? Because to me, this looks like they didn’t get the timing of my order quite right.
I have a very vivid memory of being on vacation in New York while in elementary school and ordering an ice cream cone. I remember having so much trouble with that cone. Ice cream was everywhere, on me and on the street, on my hands, on my face; it was a disaster. Since that moment, I vowed to never again order an ice cream cone — only cups and bowls for me! — at least while in public and not in the privacy of my own home while wearing a smock.
So this McDonald’s ad causes me great anxiety.
What would appeal to me and my fellow haters of sticky hands would be, perhaps, an ice cream cone next to a stack of Wet Wipes. Or an inverted ice cream cone stuck in a bowl with a spoon. Now we’re talking.